Energy is Everything

Have you ever found yourself questioning why you’re going through something in your life you feel like you truly don’t deserve? So many times in my own life when experiencing betrayal or intense hurt inflicted by the actions of others I would ponder what has led me to the current circumstances, usually resulting in me feeling overwhelmed, lost and inadequate. I would question what I could have done differently to have changed the course of events or change the outcome of the current situation. More often than not I convinced myself I had to be a bit less open with my love and sensitivity, because it either scares people away or gets taken advantage of.

Ironically, I never wanted to admit to myself that every single situation that hurt me happened because I ignored my intuition and took everything personally.  Your inner guidance is whispering to you every second of every day, but if you’re so consumed in your physical existence it’s easy to miss the spiritual answers given to you so freely. I feel like I have failed to remember that every single person is on their own journey of soul-growth, even if they aren’t aware of it yet, and I am not the director of theirs. The second you meet someone, or get a response that causes you to feel uneasy, follow that direction because it is leading you to a truth your soul already knows. This feeling is not always negative. In your life you will meet people and feel like you instantaneously connect, that is a message for you to follow as well. Over the years I had forced myself to mute this inner voice, because I wasn’t learning the lessons that I needed to. I unconsciously attracted and sought connections and relationships that were lessons in disguise of people. The lesson I had to learn: you can’t fix people. You can’t force another to live in alignment with their soul and silence their ego. Only they can do it for themselves, and you already know in your soul who in your life is draining you, whether intentional or not.

Take a few moments to self-reflect on what has seemingly occurred over and over again in your life, with different people, in different years, in different circumstances. If you honestly allow yourself to analyze the cyclical pattern of your life, while simultaneously silencing your ego, you will learn how you are holding yourself back. Everything and everyone you attract in your life is because of the energy you project into the universe, every day. Not just through physical interactions, but through your thoughts, intentions and investment in self-growth. If you feel overwhelmed by toxicity or superficial connections, it is because you are allowing them to develop in your life and they will continue to do so until you break your own cycles through learning the lessons you need to, to grow. When you can accept that you need to shed all these layers you have grown as a self-protective shield you open your life up to the bliss, unlimited happiness and the infinite love that you desire. It means living in a way that is true to your deepest existence, and it makes letting go easy because you instantaneously know when something or someone has served their purpose in your journey. It doesn’t mean that you don’t feel pain anymore, it just means that the pain doesn’t linger and limit your ability to connect with your authentic self. It also allows you to be conscious of other’s stages of growth and let go of trying to teach what can only be learned through self-growth.

I recently went through a huge personal shift, which has led me to where I am today, sharing my personal writing and experiences to help myself heal. I’m hoping it reaches others out there to do so as well. The best part of this shift is that all around me I see, feel and am attracting positivity, love, selflessness and happiness. I am accidentally meeting people who are devoted to their own consciousness journey, through social media, work, and existence in general. I have been called out of the blue, re-connected with close friends from the past who have just lost touch, but who also are in a state of self-healing and growth. There is nothing that occurs in your life due to coincidence, everything flows with divine timing and purpose. Even the most subtle hints that you will never notice if you don’t make an effort to absorb them, are miniature soul messages from the energy you are manifesting in your existence.

At first this transition made me feel isolated and withdrawn because I found myself exhausted by the presence of so much other energy that I couldn’t shield myself from. I still would often rather spend time either alone or around someone I am intensely connected with. I have started to get even more frustrated with superficiality, obsessions with money and small talk with lack of substance. I used to force myself to flow with this energy because I was convinced if I spent enough time in it’s presence it would make sense to me. It never has, and never will, but I finally have found the courage to admit to myself the depth I seek in life will manifest when I unapologetically live and exist in that depth in everything I do.

For myself I have consistently been the more open, sensitive one compared to many of the people surrounding me in my life. To be honest this sensitivity felt like a burden, I remember hearing the quote in high-school “Show no love, love gets you killed” and I remember reciting that quote to myself for a while and wondering why that seemed so easy for others to embody. I have allowed superficiality to perpetuate in my life and even distort my frame of reference because I would let it exist unchallenged. I ignorantly convinced myself that I could simplify the depths of my curiosity and mute my earning for depth by blending in with others who seem content and satisfied with the most superficial ways of living. Even though I knew something needed to change, it was fear of the unknown that held me back from embracing a holistic transition into an entirely different reality. It was this stagnant way of living I was accepting that triggered the same type of negative energy to manifest in my life, over and over again because I would not learn the lessons I needed to. The longer you put off stepping out of your comfort zone and facing the lessons your soul demands you to, the longer you are living at war with your soul purpose. You will continuously attract pain, loss, discomfort and negativity until you are forced to consciously choose to break your own cycles.

As I’ve grown I convinced myself I would attract energy of infinite love and passion since that is how I choose to love the people in my life, so I believed that I should receive the same in return. I was ignoring the fact that I was great at pouring love into other people, but I had no idea how to love myself and so the energy I was emitting was fearful and vulnerable. As I started to dedicate concentrated time and effort to explore who I am at my deepest existence I was, and I am able to identify the parts of my soul that need healing, the parts that are holding me back from existence in unconditional love. When you silence your personality, to help you connect to your deepest being you will truly hear the messages your ego prevents you from hearing while you’re venturing through your every day responsibilities. The more time and patience you give yourself to truly understand your being, the less you will find yourself living to meet other’s needs and sacrificing your values to maintain a neutrality in relationships that limit you. My sensitivity used to feel like a burden, now I know my sensitivity is my superpower and I want you to know that yours is too.